A Helpful Post on Helping Each Other! In the bustling world of East Brunswick, where the quest for a good deal is almost as fervent as the quest for a good burger, there emerges a hero from the shadows of the Burger King drive-thru. Meet Gary Hoffman, a “top contributor” on local social media, whose...Read More

Jets Over EB! When the skies over East Brunswick buzzed with the roar of fighter jets, the local Facebook community took off on a commentary flight that was part spectacle, part mystery theater. Here’s how the drama unfolded, with the residents playing their parts to perfection. “Where Are They Even Going?!” – The Conversation Takes...Read More

A New “Daycare” Approach? East Brunswick schools are innovating again—or so they say. With teacher absenteeism on the rise, the district has introduced a QR code system to guide students to their temporary classrooms, turning the hallowed halls of learning into a high-tech scavenger hunt. If a teacher is absent, students just scan a code...Read More

It’s official, folks! Word from multiple sources has confirmed the unthinkable: we’ve got some haters. Yes, the very same East Brunswick residents who secretly scroll through our blog with the brightness turned down on their phones to avoid being caught are now asking their “friends” (do they even have any?) not to comment or like...Read More

Residents Plead for Silence as Local Cars Apparently Audition for ‘Fast and Furious: Suburban Drift’ In the quaint town of East Brunswick, a nocturnal symphony has unfolded, where the streets have become an unwilling racetrack and sleep is for the weak. The locals, now sleep-deprived and slightly more cranky, took to the town’s Facebook group...Read More

East Brunswick’s Dilemma: What to Do with All This Free Time? For the first time in what seems like years, East Brunswick residents are scratching their heads, trying to figure out how to handle the upcoming election. You see, none of the candidates are affiliated with QAnon, Sons of Liberty, or arguing how many booster...Read More

The Curious Case of Fiona Roberts In the charming borough of East Brunswick, where satire often blends seamlessly with the morning coffee, a peculiar uproar shook the digital walls of our beloved community forum last Tuesday. Fiona Roberts, East Brunswick’s most active keyboard warrior (a thinly veiled pseudonym for reasons our legal team insists upon),...Read More

It was a scene straight out of a sitcom, but unfortunately for Outsider VV, it wasn’t scripted. The Board of Education, likely fed up with VV’s absence from anything remotely connected to school spirit, dragged him to last Friday’s big football game, hoping to force the superintendent of East Brunswick High School to finally show...Read More

In yet another twist in the saga of East Brunswick’s most overzealous administrator, Fast Bernie (formerly known as Bergmeister Bernie), the town has been flooded with secondhand Keurig coffee machines up for sale. While there’s no official proof connecting Bernie to this caffeine conundrum, the timing sure seems fishy. Coffee Makers Galore: Coincidence or Conspiracy?...Read More

In a move that has left staff members scratching their heads and clutching their Keurigs, Bergmeister Bernie, the overzealous Budget and Supply Czar of East Brunswick Public Schools, has embarked on a summer crusade to purge the district of what he deems “illegal coffee makers.” This controversial new policy has teachers brewing rebellion, one K-cup...Read More