Unraveling EB's Tales With a Twist

DALL·E 2024-04-23 18.30.01 – A horizontal image of a town meeting in a spacious hall. The hall is well-lit and inviting, with wooden floors and large windows. Rows of chairs are f copy

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Eyes on EB: From Playful Satire to Serious Insights into East Brunswick's Local Life

Our content artfully blends satire with sincerity. While we revel in the sharp wit and humor of satire, revealing truths often hidden in plain sight, we also dedicate a serious section to delve deeply into pressing issues. Our guiding principle? ‘Taking only serious topics seriously.

The Eyes On EB Blog

Where witty satires and serious insights blend seamlessly. Enlighten, entertain, and inspire with every post!

Satirical Blog PostsTaking only serious topics seriously.

Important and Informative Discussions When it's time to get serious, we do.

Nextdoor Drama: The Great East Brunswick Cake Controversy

“You got a stale cake from Amici’s too? Maybe it’s your taste buds.” In a scandal that’s left East Brunswick residents reeling and rolling their eyes, Karen’s harrowing experience at a local bakery has set...

May

Anonymous Source Sheds Light on Budget Shortfall

Unveiling the Truth Behind East Brunswick’s Budget Discrepancies In a significant revelation, an anonymous source has provided information raising severe concerns about the transparency of the East Brunswick School District’s financial management. The recent $12...

May

Opinion Piece – A Call for Balanced Education in East Brunswick

In the face of a $12 million budget shortfall, East Brunswick schools have made the difficult decision to cut arts, orchestra, and language programs in some grades. These reductions have sparked concern within our community,...

May

The Great Blue Cheese Crisis of East Brunswick

A Town Teetering on the Edge In the culinary catacombs of East Brunswick’s bustling forums, a crisis has erupted with the urgency of a five-alarm fire. Barbara, a top contributor, sounded the alarm for a...

May

Opinion: The Importance of Prioritizing Competence Over Perceived Niceness in East Brunswick Elections

In East Brunswick’s political landscape, the allure and affability of candidates significantly shape voter preferences. However, while appealing, the allure of a warm smile and a firm handshake only sometimes equates to effective governance. As...

Opinion The Importance of Prioritizing Competence Over Niceness in East Brunswick Elections

May

East Brunswick Freecycle

A Community Gem Beyond Politics and Waste A Local Initiative for Sustainability East Brunswick Freecycle stands as a shining example of community spirit and environmental stewardship. This group consists of residents who have come together with a shared...

May

Is It Time for a Luxury Garbage Cleaning Service Upgrade?

East Brunswick vs. Woodbridge: The Garbage Wars Escalate It seems that while East Brunswick has been busy playing with new robotic arms to handle its trash, Woodbridge Township has taken garbage glamour to the next...

May

Unraveling the East Brunswick Chinese Food Debate

East Brunswick is divided, not by local politics BOE drama, but by something more deliciously contentious: the search for the best Chinese restaurant. What started as a simple inquiry by Melissa on a local social media...

May

A Community Reflects on a Late-Night Break-In

Voices from East Brunswick Last night’s unsettling event—a home invasion in East Brunswick—has spurred a wave of comments and concerns from residents, providing a broad spectrum of perspectives and recommendations on community safety. As we...

Apr

East Brunswick Gym Showdown

Where Fitness Meets Fun (and a Bit of Funkiness) Yours indeed, Robert Wilson; having braved the murky waters of East Brunswick’s gym scene with enthusiasm and exasperation, I’ve dipped my toes into most local fitness...

Apr

The Great Poolside Nest Debat

Never a Dull Moment in East Brunswick Even the most minor nature-related dilemma in East Brunswick can spark a spirited debate on local forums, highlighting the community’s passion for individual rights and wildlife preservation. The...

Apr

Upholding Dignity in Special Education

A Community Speaks Up The East Brunswick Board of Education meeting held on Thursday, April 26, was not just another gathering, but a moment of community solidarity. The packed meeting turned into a platform where...

Apr

Unraveling the Threads of Local Love Adventures

Welcome to your favorite satire corner, Eyes on EB, where we dissect East Brunswick’s social antics with the precision of a soap opera scriptwriter. Today’s scoop? The local Facebook group is not just for lost...

Apr

The Unbiased Observer With No Friends

Six Months of Truth in a Lifetime of Solitude Why My Lack of Local Friends Makes Me the Most Honest Journalist in Town Greetings, beloved readers! As the fresh-faced Lead Contributor to “Eyes On EB,”...

Apr

Lessons from East Brunswick’s Recent Drama

A Clash of Perspectives: Social Media, Community Groups, and Accountability Amid East Brunswick’s latest drama, one exchange stood out as a poignant reminder of the power of community engagement. As the Superintendent lamented the toxicity...

East Brunswick Progressive Parents and School Group

Apr

A Closer Look at Superintendent Valeski’s Past and Present

Shadows Over East Brunswick Last night, the East Brunswick Budget Forum, already a hotspot for heightened emotions and controversy, unfolded as many had anticipated. Though rumored and largely expected, the dismissal of Assistant Figueroa, widely respected across...

Apr

The Upcoming East Brunswick Budget Forum

Navigating Our Community’s Future Key Details About the Event The much-anticipated public budget forum has been rescheduled for this coming Wednesday at 7 PM. Recognizing the challenges of parenting, free childcare will be provided to...

Apr

Eyes on EB: Critical Decisions in the Superintendent’s Office Raise Concerns

Recent Decisions Reveal Disturbing Priorities An anonymous source within the district has shared alarming information that demands immediate public attention and scrutiny. According to the details provided, the Superintendent’s office, in collaboration with the business...

Apr

The Great Fox Debate of East Brunswick

The Perils of Urban Wildlife: Or Why My Yorkie Might Be a Fox-Hunting Prodigy Welcome to another thrilling episode of suburban wildlife misadventures, brought to you by the vigilant citizens of East Brunswick! In today’s issue,...

Apr

The Great Sauce Scandal of Brothers Pizza

The Unfolding of the Sauce Saga In an utterly pivotal turn of events in our humble community, Brothers Pizza, a stalwart of local cuisine and an unwitting protagonist in what will be known as the...

Apr

Unmasking Noel Smith

The Mysterious Critic of East Brunswick East Brunswick has its fair share of local characters, but none as enigmatic and contentious as the infamous “Noel Smith.” Recently, the buzz on group texts and the local...

Apr

The Great Red Lobster Debate—A Shell of Its Former Self?

The Bankruptcy Buzz: A Town’s Culinary Crisis It’s a crustacean conundrum! The East Brunswick Red Lobster, now more infamous for its spontaneous combustion than its seafood, might be floundering into bankruptcy. Early whispers around town...

Apr

Navigating an $8 Million Budget Shortfall and the Great Trash Can Orientation Crisis Amid a $195 Million Ballooned Budget

The Great Trash Can Orientation Crisis of East Brunswick and The Curious Case of Garbage Can Etiquette In the charming township of East Brunswick, an issue of monumental importance has arisen, overshadowing even the most...

Apr

Unraveling EB’s Tales With a Twist

Eyes on EB: From Playful Satire to Serious Insights into East Brunswick's Local Life

The Eyes On EB Blog