By Eyes on EB Investigative Dining Division – Forks Up, Eyebrows Raised
If you’ve driven past Route 18 lately, you may have noticed a peculiar phenomenon: lights flickering inside the Seville Diner. A few cars parked suspiciously straight, as if someone dared to parallel park without divine intervention. Could this mean what we think it means?
Are we finally getting our beloved Seville Diner back? Or is it just another cruel mirage, like affordable property taxes or parking at Costco?
A History Served with Extra Brown Gravy
Let’s rewind.
In the mid-2000s, the Seville Diner was a beacon of post-midnight nourishment. A stainless steel temple of tin, neon, and questionable booths, it was where mozzarella sticks met destiny. Whether you were stumbling in from Thursday nights at The South River Pub or crawling home from Jenkinson’s with sand still in your shoes and a poor life decision still on your lips, nothing hit harder than a grilled cheese, disco fries, and a side of brown gravy.
“I remember waking up the next day with melted American cheese on my shirt and zero regrets,” said local legend Rob W., who at the time was known as Rob W.
But Then, Tragedy and Confusion
Sadly, in 2007, one of Seville’s co-owners, Frank Lagano, was shot and killed in the diner’s parking lot, a case that remains unsolved. The diner tried to hang on, but it eventually filed for bankruptcy in 2021, adding another tragic layer to East Brunswick’s complex relationship with Route 18.
In 2023, NJ.com ran a hopeful headline:
“N.J. diner where co-owner was killed in unsolved shooting to reopen after makeover”
Unfortunately, it never did. Like your ex’s “I’ve changed” text, the promise just didn’t pan out.
The Facebook Comment Section Investigates
Now, the East Brunswick Facebook group detectives are back on the case. Again.
Top Contributor Jody posted:
“Any updates on the Seville Diner? Lights and a few cars there in the last few days.”
Cue the town’s commentariat:
Charlie: “Someone talked to a construction worker who said June. But like, which June? What year? June of what reality?”
Lori: “They said December 2022. Then they said June 2023. Now someone said June 2025. I say we just pick a June and start tailgating.”
Gregory: “The Colonial identifies as a diner. That’s rich. Back in my day, a diner was a diner and the jukebox played Sinatra, not Megan Thee Stallion.”
Pam: “Diner food is diner food. Don’t give me artisan kale risotto. I want my turkey club held together by toothpicks and prayers.”
Seth: “I heard they’re turning it into a combination burger joint, vape shop, and fried chicken place with a nail salon in the back.”
Kim: “What? No urgent care with drive-through banking??”
Anthony: “Only if they install a crypto ATM in the men’s room.”
Could This Be It?
So what’s the truth? Is Seville finally being resurrected by the owners of the Page Diner from Staten Island? Is it going to reopen clean, fresh, and with proper refill policies? Or is it just another fever dream fed by too many Taylor Ham egg and cheese sandwiches?
We reached out to the construction worker someone mentioned someone else talked to. He said, “I just came to fix the parking lot potholes. I don’t even live in Jersey.”
Final Thoughts
Whether or not the Seville Diner actually reopens, it will forever live in our greasy, gravy-laden memories. A relic of a time when diners were open 24/7, refills were unlimited, and the only thing scarier than the food poisoning risk was seeing your ex from high school sitting two booths away.
If it does reopen this June — of any year — we’ll be there. Same booth. Same order. Same gravy dreams.
Eyes On EB will keep watching.
(And yes, we’ll be asking for a second refill — come at us.)
Want to be featured in our next satirical blog? Drop a hot take about parking in East Brunswick or start a rumor about a new Trader Joe’s opening. Bonus points if you use the phrase “back in my day.”
