Our Unofficial Yet Proud Title It’s official, unofficially official, or just plain old gossip-worthy news: Jasmine Fresco, East Brunswick’s very own queen of subtweets, has crowned Eyes On EB with the prestigious title of #GossipRag. And you know what? We absolutely agree with her! From Humble Beginnings to Gossip Gold What started as a quaint...Read More

Let’s keep this simple—if you don’t want attention, stop acting like an unpaid town crier, announcing every minor inconvenience like it’s breaking news. But some of you just can’t resist. You insert yourself into drama, get called out, and then act shocked when people pay attention. So, here’s a step-by-step guide to not being an...Read More

From Online Discussions to TV Drama East Brunswick’s bustling online community from “East Brunswick Helping Each Other” is gearing up to spill over into your living rooms with the upcoming “Real Housewives of East Brunswick.” This isn’t just your garden-variety reality show; it’s a high-stakes, high-drama showcase of the most spirited debates and camaraderie that...Read More

Because Someone Needs to Fix This Mess EAST BRUNSWICK— In a stunning display of leadership (or desperation, depending on who you ask), Rob W has officially demanded to be appointed as the Supreme Director with BIG BALLS overseeing the operation, Overlord, and Financial Savior of East Brunswick’s newly proposed BOE DOGE (Department of Oversight, Governance,...Read More

By Eyes on EB Staff Once upon a time, in a land where budget cuts are just misunderstandings and transparency is an ancient relic, the East Brunswick Board of Education embarked on an exciting new mission: revolutionizing how our children learn to read! And by “revolutionize,” we mean completely ignoring the science of reading and...Read More

If Rob W. Was Mayor: Blue Ribbon Believers Would Be Deported to Spotswood East Brunswick has many problems, but one of the most egregious offenses plaguing our town is the continued and delusional belief that we are a “Blue Ribbon School District.” That’s right, folks—if I, Rob W., were mayor, any person who utters this...Read More

A Deep Dive into Our Current Leadership’s Financial Wizardry In East Brunswick, the magical land of budget shortfalls and fiscal deficits, our beloved leaders seem to have stumbled upon an innovative solution to their financial woes. Is it a comprehensive fiscal policy? A breakthrough in municipal financing? Not exactly. They’re making it up as they...Read More

The Tipping Conundrum Tipping: A Community Dilemma or Just Another Tuesday in East Brunswick? In the bustling community of East Brunswick, a hot topic has emerged on social media, sparking a robust debate that could only be rivaled by discussions of property taxes and the mystery of disappearing single socks. Kenny, an apparently popular figure...Read More

Is Rob W. Banned for Life at The AxeCeptional Experience? In a twist of fate that nearly turned disastrous, Rob W., the enigmatic local figure known for his quirky demeanor, had his first axe-throwing experience at the soon-to-open The AxeCeptional Experience, located in the East Brunswick Square Mall.  Despite an awkward start that almost got...Read More

In a town where the most exciting airborne event used to be a Frisbee stuck in a tree, the recent swarm of drones over East Brunswick has given everyone something to buzz about—literally. But let’s dive into what’s really happening in our skies, with a healthy dose of speculation and satire, because, at Eyes on...Read More