satire Archives - Page 8 of 11

Welcome to the Satire Section of Eyes On Eb, where wit meets wisdom in our unique take on the world’s happenings. Here, we explore a range of topics through a satirical lens, offering a humorous perspective designed to entertain and provoke thought. Our satirical posts use irony, exaggeration, and humor to critique societal norms, politics, and cultural phenomena. Dive into this section for a clever and playful exploration of current events, where laughter is used as a tool to reflect and critique.

Jul

The East Brunswick BOE Closed Session OPRA: A Masterpiece in Redaction

July 9, 2024ByEyes On EBInsatire

Act I: The Request At a recent BOE meeting, a town resident mentioned two dates in particular, and here at Eyes on EB, we were intrigued. Imagine this: you decide to get a little curious and request an OPRA (Open Public Records Act) document from the East Brunswick Board of Education’s closed session minutes. You...

Jul

The Great East Brunswick Feta Cheese Debacle: A Tale of Civic Entitlement

July 9, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

In a world where grocery store checkout lines become the battlegrounds for social justice, and feta cheese serves as the frontline of entitlement wars, our town has reached new heights—or perhaps depths—of absurdity. When Cheese Becomes a Political Statement Picture this: a serene Sunday afternoon at a popular supermarket, where shoppers meander through aisles, basking...

Jul

One Garbage Pickup at a Time

July 1, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

In the bustling metropolis of East Brunswick, where the population soars and the garbage piles higher, the community has found a unique way to bond over one of life’s less glamorous tasks: missed garbage pickups. Let’s dive into the delightful chaos that ensues when 25,000 garbage pickups a week leave behind a trail of uncollected...

Jun

How East Brunswick’s Very Own Neal Shah Won Big

June 26, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

I’m In a nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat contest with the entire county on the edge of their seats, Neal Shah clinched the Republican County Committee seat in District 37 by an unprecedented 2-0 margin. Yes, you read that right—a whopping two votes to none! In an election that will surely go down in history books, Neal Shah...

Jun

The Misunderstood Wanderer of Lawrence Brook

June 3, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

A Paw-sitively Confusing Morning This morning, residents of Lawrence Brook were treated to an unexpected visitor: a black bear, who we’ll call Barry. Barry, in his quest for a quiet stroll, seems to have sparked a minor uproar in our usually tranquil community. The local authorities have assured us that there’s no need for panic—Barry...

Jun

The Great Chicken Escape

June 2, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

The Mysterious Case of the Fugitive Fowl In a thrilling suburban saga that’s got everyone clucking, a chicken has daringly escaped into the urban wilds of East Brunswick, leading to a loud social media scramble. Peter first spotted this feathered desperado, a local Facebook savant, nonchalantly strutting down Sheridan Avenue—presumably after jaywalking. Community Crusaders and...

May

East Brunswick’s Best-Kept Secret Unveiled!

May 29, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

Swingin’ in the Suburbs Breaking News: Local Lovebirds Are Flocking to Underground Swingers Club East Brunswick, a quiet suburban town known for its great schools and friendly community, has a hidden secret—an underground swingers club! Yes, you heard that right. While most of us are catching up on Netflix or attending BOE meetings, a group...

May

The East Brunswick Saga of the Broken Water Heater

May 23, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

A Community in Crisis Welcome, dear readers of Eyes on EB, to another thrilling episode of “East Brunswick Drama Unplugged.” Today, inspired by an epic Facebook thread, we dive into the perilous world of plumbing and community discourse. Buckle up for a rollercoaster of emotions, technical debates, and, of course, unsolicited advice. The Catastrophe Strikes “The...

May

East Brunswick’s Never-ending Traffic Saga

May 22, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

Construction and Community Banter The Eternal Construction Chronicles East Brunswick seems to be on a perpetual quest to redefine the concept of “forever under construction.” Johanna articulates our collective despair: “The traffic in East Brunswick is so ridiculous now.” Jon echoes the sentiment with a prophetic twist about the empty new apartments, hinting at an impending population boom....

May

Nextdoor Drama: The Great East Brunswick Cake Controversy

May 18, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

“You got a stale cake from Amici’s too? Maybe it’s your taste buds.” In a scandal that’s left East Brunswick residents reeling and rolling their eyes, Karen’s harrowing experience at a local bakery has set off a firestorm of commentary. The saga began with Karen’s simple quest for a fresh cake. Instead, she received a...

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