A Town’s Quest for Cleanliness

EAST BRUNSWICK— In the heart of East Brunswick, where local news often involves school board elections and debates over speed bumps, the residents have now found themselves in the midst of a new mission—finding the perfect bidet. And let’s be clear, this isn’t just any casual search; it’s a full-blown quest, akin to hunting for buried treasure, but with way more plumbing involved.

It all started with Gary, who, like many, was on the hunt for a bidet that wouldn’t break the bank. “I saw one in Costco the other day,” said Sohel, clearly a man with Costco membership privileges and a keen eye for bathroom accessories. However, as soon as that bidet beacon was lit, the floodgates opened, and everyone had an opinion or a tip on where Gary could procure his holy grail of bathroom fixtures.

The Bidet Shopping Extravaganza

Brian was quick to chime in with some straightforward advice, “How about trying Home Depot or Lowe’s. They did have them. No sh!t.” Thanks for the clarification, Brian. We almost thought this was about bidet-shaped garden gnomes for a second. His no-nonsense approach really set the tone for what was about to become a passionate debate about the best place to buy bidets.

Lisa joined the fray, suggesting, “Fergusons in Bridgewater.” However, Gary wasn’t about to fork over a small fortune. “I looked online,” he explained, with the wisdom of a man who’s spent more than one afternoon Googling bathroom accessories. “Most of their products in this area start over $1500. You can buy good ones from Lowe’s and HD for $500 to $1000, but their delivery has delays.” The agony of delayed bathroom luxury is real, folks.

Local Plumbing Experts to the Rescue

While some residents discussed high-end options, others got real about their bidet expectations. Enter Phyllis, who, in true neighborly fashion, directed Gary to “Aron in North Brunswick.” This was followed by Jay’s sage advice: “Try EB Plumbing perhaps.” Let’s be honest, nothing says local hero quite like pointing someone in the direction of a hometown plumbing joint.

Then came Farrah, who offered a unique cultural twist to the conversation. “Asian stores might have this,” she said with a winky face emoji. Does she know something we don’t? Quite possibly. One thing’s for sure, when bidet hunting in East Brunswick, all avenues—literal and figurative—must be explored.

The DIY Approach: East Brunswick Innovation at Its Finest

Not to be outdone, Rob had an innovative solution of his own. “I use the detachable showerhead,” he proclaimed, with the confidence of a man who has mastered the art of multitasking in the bathroom. You’ve got to hand it to him—when life doesn’t give you a bidet, sometimes you just have to improvise.

And then there’s Anthony, who took things up a notch, stating, “I got mine from Amazon a few years ago, working great. Had to put a 110v plug behind the toilet for hot water, but I forget I do all my own work.” Anthony is clearly the DIY king of bidets, proving that if you want something done right, sometimes you’ve got to electrify your bathroom yourself.

Bidets: The New Status Symbol?

It seems like bidets are no longer just a luxury item; they’ve become a status symbol in East Brunswick. With contributors like Stephanie proudly announcing, “We got ours from Amazon too,” the bidet has officially entered the realm of East Brunswick prestige. Forget marble countertops or stainless-steel appliances—nothing says “I’ve made it” quite like a bathroom that sprays water at you.

And, of course, the technical side couldn’t be ignored. Ersen, clearly the town’s bidet connoisseur, warned, “If you want warm water connection as well, they all come with European metric sizes. You’ll need to tweak a bit.” Ah, yes, European bidets—the Ferrari of bathroom hygiene. And like any European import, they come with a manual you’ll probably never read.

Where to Go From Here?

So, where does this leave Gary—and the rest of East Brunswick’s bidet-less population? Should they brave the delays at Lowe’s? Pay a visit to EB Plumbing? Or perhaps call Archer Plumbing, as Mary so kindly suggested?

One thing’s for sure: this town’s determination to find the perfect bidet knows no bounds. From plumbing shops to Amazon orders, East Brunswick is going all-in on the bidet trend, and it doesn’t look like it’s slowing down anytime soon.

So, if you’re in the market for one of these fancy bathroom gadgets, just know that the whole town has your back—and your bottom.