Let’s keep this simple—if you don’t want attention, stop acting like an unpaid town crier, announcing every minor inconvenience like it’s breaking news. But some of you just can’t resist. You insert yourself into drama, get called out, and then act shocked when people pay attention.
So, here’s a step-by-step guide to not being an idiot online.
Step One: Stop Volunteering to Look Stupid
Before you hit “post” on that emotional monologue defending yourself against an accusation no one actually cares about, ask yourself: Am I about to make myself look unhinged? Because if you have to explain that you’re “not mad,” you’re definitely mad.
Instead of arguing like your life depends on it, try something revolutionary—just don’t. No one has ever won an online debate against someone who lives for drama. The only way to win is to not play.
“Some people poke the bear. Others are the bear and then act shocked when people notice.” – Rob W.
Step Two: If You’re Always in Drama, Guess What? You Are the Drama.
You know those people who swear they “hate drama” but somehow end up in every single fight? If that’s you, I have news: you are the common denominator.
If your name keeps appearing in screenshots, if people are tagging their friends to “come see this,” or if your posts always end up in a group chat for analysis—you might be the town fool. And here’s a fun trick: the more you try to deny it, the funnier it gets for everyone else.
“I don’t try to get under people’s skin… but when I do, it’s usually because they handed me the scalpel.” – Rob W.
Step Three: If You Have to Beg for Sympathy, You’ve Already Lost
Here’s a big one—if someone calls you out and your first instinct is to find a way to make yourself look like the victim, congratulations, you’re probably an idiot.
“I can’t believe people are attacking me, I was just trying to help!” 🥺
“They’re just bullying me because they don’t like the truth!” 😭
If you have to craft an entire sob story instead of just owning your nonsense or, better yet, shutting up, then maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t have started in the first place. No one is buying your “woe is me” act. They’re just here for the entertainment.
“Nothing makes a bad argument worse than an emotional meltdown.” – Rob W.
Step Four: The More You Defend Yourself, The Dumber You Look
Ever see someone argue for days under a post, only for everyone to forget what the original issue even was? Yeah, don’t be that person.
If you have to keep explaining why you’re “not in the wrong,” guess what? You already lost. The more you fight, the more people realize you’ve completely lost the plot.
Pro tip: Take the loss. Or better yet, pretend you don’t care. People who actually don’t care don’t type 10-paragraph manifestos at 2 AM.
“Silence is powerful. But so is a well-timed ‘lol’ before logging off to let them self-destruct.” – Rob W.
Step Five: Let People Embarrass Themselves
You know what’s better than arguing with someone who lives for online fights? Letting them talk just enough to expose themselves. Some people are so desperate for attention that if you ignore them, they’ll argue with themselves. Just sit back and watch the train wreck.
“Some say I control narratives. Others say people just self-destruct with no help at all. I just sit back and watch.” – Rob W.
Final Thoughts: If You Want to Stay Out of Drama, Shut Up
The easiest way to avoid looking like an idiot online? Stop talking. If you don’t want attention, don’t go fishing for it. But let’s be real—you’re probably going to ignore this advice, because deep down, you love the attention.
“If you don’t want attention, don’t comment. But if you do… at least make it entertaining.” – Rob W.
