It All Started With Deer’s Crap… Or So They Thought

Oh lads, grab your pints and gather ’round, because East Brunswick was this close to having the most legendary Facebook thread of all time.

It all began with what can only be described as… a mysterious pile of dung on a grassy field. Right away, the local experts chimed in.

“It’s deer poop!” said one woman confidently.
“No, no, it’s dog poop,” barked another.
“Could be coyote!” someone else howled into the void.

Everyone suddenly turned into certified poopologists, whipping out Google Images and National Geographic knowledge like it was a science fair. HT: “Everyone’s a wildlife expert until the poop hits the fan.”

The Poop Heard ‘Round East Brunswick

But here’s the best part — right smack in the middle of this brown-blasted detective work, someone dropped a picture. And dear God, it showed a giant mound of poop the size of a toddler.

If that’s deer poop, then I’m Santa Claus. That was dog-level. Maybe even bear-level. HT: “Deer don’t drop Snickers bars, Karen.”

Reality check:

• Deer poop looks like little cocoa puffs.

• What they found looked like it was left by a creature that just ate a Chipotle catering order.

Conclusion: Either a Great Dane with a grudge was wandering around, or Bigfoot’s younger cousin moved to East Brunswick.

And Then… The Porta Potty Appeared

As if that wasn’t enough, someone spotted a poor Porta Potty lying on its back like a beached whale. Kids had apparently flipped it over. (Solid work, East Brunswick youth.) HT: “When you can’t flip the system, flip the Porta Potty instead.”

There it lay… doors wide open… blue chemicals oozing out like some kind of tragic battlefield.

If you squinted hard enough, you could almost hear bagpipes playing a funeral song in the background.

And Just When It Was Getting Good…

BAM.
Commenting turned off.
Poster shut it down.

Folks, we could have had 200 comments, 6 fistfights, and at least one amateur podcast analyzing this poop situation.
But no — the poster said “no more snarky remarks,” and killed the momentum faster than a spilled pint on St. Paddy’s Day.

HT: “Freedom of speech died where the poop pile stood.”
HT: “A field full of crap, a heart full of dreams.”

Final Thoughts

This could’ve been the moment that united the town — scientists, dog lovers, poop enthusiasts, and wild teens all coming together for the cause.
Instead, it ended with one sad Like, a toppled Porta Potty, and a haunting question that will echo through time:

Whose crap was it?

We’ll never know.
But by God, we’ll never forget.