If you’ve been staring out your window and suddenly spotted a guy silently gliding past your mailbox on what looks like a futuristic scooter, no, you didn’t slip into a Marvel movie. He’s not casing your joint, he’s not there to spy on your water meter, and no—he’s not from the government. He’s just trying to sell something. Efficiently.
Let’s set the scene.
Earlier this week, J.L. posted in a popular East Brunswick Facebook group asking, “Any ideas as to what this person may be doing riding around our driveway on a hoverboard with what looks like an iPad?” Naturally, the thread turned into a beautiful trainwreck of speculation, grammar corrections, accusations of meatball-induced paranoia, and one guy simply yelling “This is not Sicily!”
But through all the noise, one thing became clear: the man in question is using a Segway (not a hoverboard, sorry Eugene M.) and a lot of people guessed correctly—he’s probably a solar or pest control rep. And while some questioned his motives, others raised the real issue:
“Door to door salesman who doesn’t want to walk.” – A.P.
Let’s pause here. What if we told you that not wanting to walk isn’t lazy… it’s brilliant?
?♂️ Walking vs ? Segway-ing: A Math Moment
The average door-to-door rep on foot can reasonably knock on 80 to 100 houses in an 8-hour day. Now toss him on a Segway that rolls at 10 miles per hour and that number jumps to around 200 to 250 homes a day. That’s 2.5x the productivity, less foot pain, and more time to smile while being ignored on ring cams across town.
And tomorrow? He’ll wake up refreshed, with legs that don’t feel like wet noodles. You ever try walking EB’s hilly neighborhoods for eight hours? Didn’t think so.
? Give The Guy Credit
Sure, it’s a little weird at first. A dude in shades gliding through your cul-de-sac like he’s delivering subpoenas from the future. But as Z.P. eloquently reminded us:
“We just posted on Facebook to bitch and complain lol.”
Indeed. Meanwhile, this man is out here hustling smarter, not harder. Efficiency matters—especially when your job involves getting doors slammed in your face 30 times before noon.
? So What’s the Big Takeaway?
Maybe instead of jumping to conclusions and calling the cops on a kid with a Segway and an iPad, we just… ask? (Thanks for that reminder, E.C.)
Or better yet—buy some solar panels. Or bug spray. Or just give the guy a wave. After all, he’s not hovering around your driveway. He’s floating toward the future. One sale at a time.
And if you still feel threatened by a guy selling solar while gliding on a battery-powered platform, just remember:
This is East Brunswick.
This is not Sicily.
