satire Archives - Page 7 of 11

Welcome to the Satire Section of Eyes On Eb, where wit meets wisdom in our unique take on the world’s happenings. Here, we explore a range of topics through a satirical lens, offering a humorous perspective designed to entertain and provoke thought. Our satirical posts use irony, exaggeration, and humor to critique societal norms, politics, and cultural phenomena. Dive into this section for a clever and playful exploration of current events, where laughter is used as a tool to reflect and critique.

Sep

Popeyes Wings: The Bone of Contention in East Brunswick Debate

September 3, 2024ByEyes On EBInsatire

A Deep Dive into the Serious World of Fast Food Critiques East Brunswick is buzzing with what might be the most pressing issue to hit our town since the great parking debate of ’97: the bone-in vs. boneless wing debate at Popeyes. Grab your bibs, folks—it’s about to get saucy. Wing Enthusiast Gary’s Quandary Gary,...

Sep

EB Politicians Rediscover the Oldest Trick in the Book: Door-Knocking

September 2, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

In a bold throwback to traditional politics, East Brunswick candidates are once again hitting the pavement, taking a page from the ancient Jehovah’s Witnesses playbook with a return to door-knocking. This not-so-novel strategy has residents recalling a simpler, albeit annoying, time when the only knocks on doors were either to share scripture or sell vacuum...

Sep

We Want Nicer Stores, Just Don’t Build Them: The Great East Brunswick Paradox

September 1, 2024ByEyes On EBInOpinion Pieces, Robert Wilson, satire

In the quaint and paradoxical land of East Brunswick, a new trend is sweeping through the community forums and coffee shops: the desire for world-class dining and shopping experiences—but only if they miraculously appear without any construction or higher-end living choices for people who can actually afford these luxuries. Residents are also up in arms...

Aug

How Rob W. Became the Gossip Guru of East Brunswick: The EB Whisperer

August 31, 2024ByEyes On EBInsatire

The Invisible Observer in Political Gossip In the digital battlegrounds of East Brunswick, Rob W., the head blogger of Eyes on EB, has become a pivotal figure by mastering the art of silent observation in political group texts. His secret? Becoming part of every political conversation—left, right, and center—without ever uttering a word. Rob attributes...

Aug

How Outsider VV Tried to Pull a $400k Rabbit Out of a Hat—and Failed

August 30, 2024ByEyes On EBInsatire

The Misadventures of Outsider VV: The Great Raise Robbery That Wasn’t Last night’s East Brunswick Board of Education meeting revealed a plot twist worthy of a prime-time drama. While the district grappled with layoffs and budgetary blunders, our own Outsider VV, Superintendent, was nearly crowned king of compensation with a raise that would bring him...

Aug

How One Local Politician Turned Funerals into Campaign Stops

August 20, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

Wake-Watching Here at Eyes On EB, we take our commitment to neutrality seriously, especially regarding elections. That’s why we’re keeping mum on the name of the local elected official who’s taken a novel approach to campaigning—by crashing community wakes to win hearts and votes. It’s an unusual strategy, but hey, who are we to judge...

Aug

When Aspiring Mayors Realize They Can’t Negotiate Ceasefires

August 19, 2024ByEyes On EBInsatire

When Local Governance Meets Global Aspirations In the quaint, bustling township of East Brunswick, a new contender has emerged in the mayoral race, armed not with the usual promises of pothole repairs and park improvements, but with a grand vision: a ceasefire in Gaza. Yes, you read that correctly—Dr. G, a cardiologist by trade and...

Aug

The Eternal Paving of Summerhill Road

August 18, 2024ByEyes On EBInsatire

Complete for the Fifth Time in Seven Years Finally Smooth Sailing… Until Next Year? Residents of East Brunswick, rejoice! a The long-anticipated (and much-delayed) completion of a Summerhill Road’s paving project has finally arrived—for the fifth time in the past seven years. Drivers can now glide seamlessly to Route 18 and beyond, basking in the...

Aug

The East Brunswick Bladder Bomber

August 14, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

The Unstoppable Canine Conundrum Welcome, dear readers, to another thrilling episode of “As the Dog Pees,” where the residents of East Brunswick take to the internet to tackle the most pressing issue of our time: where, oh where, should a dog relieve itself? Spoiler alert: it’s not on your lawn—unless you’re a rogue squirrel, then...

Aug

The Day the Music Died: East Brunswick’s Tragic Downfall After K-Mart’s Closure

August 13, 2024ByEyes On EBInRobert Wilson, satire

In a twist of fate that could only be described as “The Day the Music Died,” East Brunswick’s decline can be traced back to one fateful event: the closing of K-Mart. On a chilly January day in 2019, the lights of the last K-Mart in East Brunswick dimmed for the final time, leaving a void...

1 … 5 6 7 8 9 … 11