Route 18 Closure Commuters Rejoice: A Week of Unexpected Adventures Awaits! EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ — In what experts are calling “a groundbreaking initiative in the war against smooth travel,” Route 18 will be closed and detoured for the foreseeable future, allowing residents to experience the thrill of navigating suburban backroads in bumper-to-bumper traffic. “This is...Read More

Every now and then, a figure emerges so effortlessly cool, so undeniably magnetic, that people can’t help but gravitate toward them. Enter Chadwick Breeze—the man, the myth, the lifestyle. He lived by a simple truth: “We aren’t here for a long time, just a good time.” And, oh, what a time it was. But like...Read More

December 17, 1981: The Coldest Birthday of Them All Winter birthdays are tough. You can’t have a pool party, nobody wants to go outside, and if there’s even a hint of snow in the forecast, half your friends suddenly develop “strict family traditions” that conveniently prevent them from attending. But none of that mattered to...Read More

⚠️ Beekman Road Shut Down for the Annual Amphibian Migration 🦎⚠️ Residents of East Brunswick, brace yourselves—it’s that time of year again! The annual salamander migration is upon us, and like tiny, slimy jaywalkers, they are throwing themselves into traffic with reckless abandon. 🏁 The Great Salamander Sprint For reasons only known to the salamanders...Read More

Cricket. A game of finesse, strategy, and centuries of tradition. But that was before. Before one man dedicated himself to reinventing the sport with a gym-honed physique, unmatched confidence, and a playing style that some call “innovative” and others call “chaotic.” That man? Rob “Wicket McSticky” W. And with the grand opening of the new...Read More

Doctor Mayor vs. The Unsolvable Equation In the great town of East Brunswick, where the grass is green and the taxes are greener, we find ourselves at a familiar crossroads: the budget crisis. The latest debate has Doctor Mayor Brad at the center, juggling spreadsheets, community outrage, and a very large “NO” button that everyone...Read More

East Brunswick’s favorite digital soap opera continues, this time with a special pyrotechnic episode featuring the mysterious case of the missing alerts and a not-so-secret fireworks display. Buckle up, residents, it’s going to be a loud and confusing ride! The Sound of Silence (or Was It an Explosion?) Our story begins on a seemingly quiet...Read More

The Unsportsmanlike Conduct of a DEI Consultant In what might be the most ironic fumble of the year, Ryan Caldwell, an alleged expert in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), has been spectacularly booted from his job. Caldwell, renowned for advising on tolerance and respect, switched fields to intolerance and disrespect at a Philadelphia Eagles vs....Read More

Just when you thought East Brunswick had discussed every topic worth debating, Gary H. strikes again with a Facebook thread that managed to rack up over 100 comments in just a few hours. The topic? The deeply divisive question of whether or not it’s socially acceptable—or even remotely necessary—to back into a parking space. Yes,...Read More

It was supposed to be the savior of Hardenburg and Fresh Ponds Road, the shining beacon of traffic regulation to finally bring order to this dangerous intersection. Instead, the first day of the new traffic light working has been, well, let’s just say, less than successful. Another T-Bone Incident? Already? As EMS and tow trucks...Read More