Few incidents will smell as infamous as the Great Stench Mystery of Cranbury Road in the annals of East Brunswick lore. As residents clamored to solve this olfactory offense, social media became the battleground for theories ranging from mundane to conspiratorial.
The Scent Begins
It started innocently enough when John posted a query that wafted through the virtual streets of Facebook like a dubious perfume, “Has anyone noticed an odor in the past few days in the area of the VFW on Cranbury Rd and DCR and Colonial Oaks Village?” Concern was palpable, as the scent seemed to linger with the tenacity of an unwanted holiday guest.
A Community Sniffs Around
Craig, resident sleuth, inquired with the urgency of a man chasing a skunk, “What kind of odor?” John replied with the air of a seasoned stink connoisseur, “Like a dead animal also PSEG has been digging to install new pipes for electric lines.” Tyler, ever the jester, chimed in, “Maybe they found Hoffa.” A theory as likely as finding a clean pair of socks in a teenager’s room.
Nic, ever the pragmatist, offered a public service announcement: “If you smell rotten eggs/deathly smell it’s gas, call PSEG right away.” Her advice was as vital as remembering to breathe—obvious but essential.
Marci speculated with the confidence of a coroner, “It probably is a dead animal.” Steve concurred with the enthusiasm of a man agreeing to have just one more slice of pizza, “That’s what I thought…”
Moment of Sniff
Enter Luigi, not all heroes wear capes, some just have a finely tuned nasal prowess. Responding to the chaos with the calmness of a librarian in a silent reading room, he declared, “Cats are marking territory and it stinks bad.” Thus, solving part of the mystery with the ease of a child solving a two-piece puzzle.
Angela, tormented by the relentless assault on her nostrils, lamented, “Very strong foul smelling—sometimes it’s very strong. Especially in our court (Lilac court).” Luigi, doubling as a detective and part-time zoologist, ventured, “Smells like a cat is marking up the fence behind your lot… it could be deer too! It is definitely an animal. His role in this saga might be minor in the grand scheme, but to those with sensitive noses, he’s as crucial as windshield wipers in a downpour.
Community Chorus
The thread was a symphony of suggestions and soliloquies. Rocky contributed a line fit for a bumper sticker: “Dirty Jersey!” Kevin, hoping for a washout, yearned for rain. Tim, annoyed by the anti-rain chants, practically pleaded, “Who out there is singing the ‘rain rain go away…’ song? KNOCK IT OFF!!!”
Rosemary, with the resolve of a neighborhood watch president, advised, “You can call the police. They’ll come out.” Her recommendation was as sensible as wearing sunscreen on a beach day.
Wrapping Up the Stink
In the end, East Brunswick’s Great Stench Mystery may not have the intrigue of a noir thriller, but it showcased a community’s ability to band together—even if it was just to pinpoint the source of a bad smell. Residents could finally breathe a sigh of relief, proving that sometimes, the nose knows best.
