Big Brother? Nope, Just Little Old Us
East Brunswick residents, we’ve heard your murmurs, your whispers, and the occasional screams of panic. Yes, it’s true. The Eyes on EB Spy Sky Drones are out and about, buzzing through the skies like overly curious bumblebees—but sleeker and with a flair for surveillance. And no, this isn’t some government initiative. It’s just us. You’re welcome.
Some folks are “up in arms,” which, we have to admit, makes for great drone footage. But let us clarify: we’re not here to invade your privacy (okay, maybe just a smidge). We’re here to capture truth—truth about your future political candidates, self-proclaimed “voices of reason,” and that neighbor who claims their recycling bin always goes out on time.
What Are the Spy Sky Drones Actually Doing?
Let’s address the rumors:
- No, the U.S. Government isn’t behind this. They’re busy with UFOs, thank you very much.
- Local police? Not a chance. Have you seen their department’s drone budget? It’s…nonexistent.
- Private contractors? Please, they’re too busy chasing Amazon packages off porches.
These drones are Eyes on EB property—100% stealth, 200% determination, and absolutely untrackable. They’re powered by a mix of solar energy, recycled Wi-Fi signals, and the occasional resentment of local Facebook trolls.
As for why we’re doing this, let’s just say: Election season is coming, and we plan to have receipts.
Quotes from Real Paranoia
“I saw one of those drones over my backyard! It hovered there for three minutes before flying off toward the community pool. What do you need from me, huh?! I’m just trying to grill some burgers!”
— Frank F.
“Finally, someone who cares about East Brunswick! My HOA doesn’t do anything about my neighbor’s lawn, but I bet the Spy Sky drones can handle it.”
— Sharon T., HOA Hopeful
“Wait, what do you mean they’re untrackable? That sounds illegal.”
— Officer Joe, A Guy with Questions
Why You Shouldn’t Worry (But Probably Will Anyway)
Here’s the thing: the Spy Sky drones are already part of your life. You’ll get used to the gentle hum above your head as you stroll through Bicentennial Park or the friendly shadow that follows you down Main Street. Think of it as a modern-day guardian angel, except this one records everything you say and do—strictly for research purposes, of course.
Remember, our mission is simple: to prepare East Brunswick for the next election by gathering all the “dirt” before someone else does. This isn’t about spying; it’s about preserving democracy.
Closing Thoughts
So go about your day, East Brunswick. Smile for the drones. Wave if you’re feeling patriotic. And if you see one hovering above your backyard, don’t panic—unless you’re up to something. In that case, maybe panic a little.
Stay tuned, stay aware, and remember: we’re always watching.
