The Misadventures of Outsider VV: The Great Raise Robbery That Wasn’t

Last night’s East Brunswick Board of Education meeting revealed a plot twist worthy of a prime-time drama. While the district grappled with layoffs and budgetary blunders, our own Outsider VV, Superintendent, was nearly crowned king of compensation with a raise that would bring him to around $400k annually. That’s right, amid financial turmoil, VV was sharpening his pencils—and possibly his claws—aiming for a payday that could make Wall Street blush.

The ambitious contract upgrade, slick as a greased pig, slid all the way up for review by the County Superintendent before anyone could say “fiscal responsibility.” It seemed Outsider VV’s dreams of a lavish raise were all but secured, ready to be rubber-stamped into reality.

However, the magic show turned into a tragic show when the curtain was pulled back. As the President and Vice President’s maneuvers were spotlighted, hiding it from the rest of the board,  members morphed into sobbing statues, echoing through the hall, “It’s so hard being a Board Member.” The agony! The despair! One could almost hear violins playing in the background.

But the night was young, and Outsider VV wasn’t about to go down without a fight. He launched an attack on Dr. Lou, presumably for lacking appreciation of his financial illusions. The Board, not to be left out of the drama, followed suit, lecturing the audacious four candidates who dared challenge the great and powerful Outsider VV.

A Spectacular Financial Feint: The Community Cries Foul, Halting VV’s Vault to Victory

In the end, the raise was not to be. VV’s grand plan to open up the treasure chest was thwarted, leaving him to play the part of the perennial victim. Yet, in the hallowed halls of East Brunswick, some might whisper that last night, fiscal sanity prevailed—just barely.