It was a scene straight out of a sitcom, but unfortunately for Outsider VV, it wasn’t scripted. The Board of Education, likely fed up with VV’s absence from anything remotely connected to school spirit, dragged him to last Friday’s big football game, hoping to force the superintendent of East Brunswick High School to finally show his face. Spoiler alert: things didn’t go as planned.
Lost Superintendent Roams the School Grounds
It started off predictably awkward. Outsider VV, who hadn’t attended a football game in ten years that the students thought he was a myth, got lost on his way to the stadium. According to reports, VV wandered around campus for over thirty minutes, trying to locate the football field. “I could’ve sworn it was over by the tennis courts,” Victor allegedly muttered to himself as he stumbled past the band practicing in the parking lot. The football field, mind you, is about as hard to miss as the school building itself.
Checking His Watch—Like He Had Better Places to Be
Once VV eventually found the field (with the help of a kind freshman, no less), his presence didn’t exactly scream “enthusiasm.” According to witnesses, VV spent most of the time checking his watch, sighing audibly, and looking like he had somewhere else—anywhere else—to be. One student reported seeing him standing near the concession stand, muttering something about “missing dinner reservations.”
For a man who was supposedly there to boost school spirit, VV looked more like someone trying to find the nearest exit.
A Superintendent Without School Spirit
When VV finally arrived—half an hour late—he faced another obstacle. The gate attendants didn’t recognize him. Apparently, they had never seen the man before, which, let’s face it, isn’t surprising considering his ghost-like presence at school events. “That’ll be $5,” the ticket collector said, extending his hand.
“But I’m the superintendent!” Victor tried to explain.
“Sure you are, buddy,” replied the ticket guy, who genuinely believed VV was a random parent trying to sneak into the game. With no ID to prove his identity and no one willing to vouch for him, VV grudgingly forked over the five bucks. Talk about embarrassing.
Fake It ‘Til You Make It, VV
Needless to say, VV’s attempt at playing the role of a school spirit warrior was as awkward as it gets. “I didn’t know which side to sit on at first,” Victor supposedly confessed later. “I almost cheered for the opposing team by mistake.”
While the Board of Education might have forced him to show up, it’s safe to say VV transformation from Outsider VV to school insider is going to take a little more than just attending one football game—and paying for a ticket like everyone else.
