🕷️ The Tarantula Tenant: East Brunswick’s Latest Rental Scandal 🐍

“All we asked for was proof of income, not a zoo permit.”

It started with a post. A simple, innocent question from Jordan:
“Hey everyone! My husband and I own a rental, and we just had an applicant with two tarantulas, two boa constrictors, two frogs, and two lizards. We’ve never seen this before. Just curious, is there a reason someone might have all these pets?”

The answers came in like a stampede of snakes slithering through a living room vent.

🦎 The People Respond

“Because they like exotic animals,” said Craig, East Brunswick’s official ambassador of the obvious.

Nancy chimed in with a laugh: “My good friend has way more than that. They’re just into strange pets!”
(We’re not sure if Nancy’s friend is legally classified as a Bond villain or just a misunderstood reptile whisperer.)

Tacy dropped what might be the most telling truth of the thread:
“It’s easier than kids.”
That sentence hit different.

Carmine, philosopher of the digital realm, mused:
“Lonely?”
(A comment that deserves to be cross-stitched and hung above a lizard tank.)

Jeanne offered this reassuring take:
“Nothing to be concerned about — they are all great pets.”
Except, you know, the ones that eat mice whole and sometimes… vanish.

🕸️ Meet Sedona, the Red-Kneed Roommate

Then came Karen.

Karen, a woman of spidered conviction, presented her case like a courtroom drama:
“Let me introduce you to Sedona. She’s 11 years old, a Mexican Red Knee tarantula from Alabama. She flew FedEx to New Jersey. She’s more docile than your Aunt Carol and only eats Petsmart crickets.”

Sedona, if you’re reading this: you are the moment.

Karen continued, unbothered by the squeamish.
“We’ve had turtles, frogs, rats, a bird, a gecko, chinchillas, guinea pigs, & cats. But let me tell you: the tarantula is the least destructive one.”
Take that, Karen’s cat who peed on the baseboards.

🚨 The Concerns

“Just make sure the snake tanks are secure,” said Marion, who apparently has a PhD in reptile risk management.

“I once lost a tarantula in my house for three days,” recalled Glen. “My mom didn’t sleep until we found it.”
Glen’s mom still flinches every time she sees a dust bunny.

Carolann shared:
“My stepson’s snake used to escape and wind up in the basement walls.”
Now that’s a sentence you don’t hear at the open house.

📝 The Landlord Clause of Doom

Alexa, a property manager, finally swooped in with the realest advice of all:
“Pet addendum. Pet fee. Insurance. And a clause that all tanks get removed before showings.”

Or as Lori put it, “I’ve seen it all in this town. As long as there’s no smell and everything’s contained, live and let boa.”