⚠️ Beekman Road Shut Down for the Annual Amphibian Migration

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Residents of East Brunswick, brace yourselves—it’s that time of year again! The annual salamander migration is upon us, and like tiny, slimy jaywalkers, they are throwing themselves into traffic with reckless abandon.

🏁 The Great Salamander Sprint

For reasons only known to the salamanders (and maybe a few very dedicated biologists), these little creatures have decided that Beekman Road is the Route 18 of the amphibian world. Every year, as if guided by some secret salamander memo, they migrate from the woods on one side of the road to a breeding pond on the other. Once their romantic escapades are complete, they embark on the equally dramatic return trip.

To accommodate this very important salamander business, Beekman Road (which turns into White Pine Road in South Brunswick) will be closed overnight between Church Lane and Davidsons Mill Road on select warm, rainy nights. The road will shut down sporadically between 6 p.m. and 5 a.m., because—much like East Brunswick politics—you never quite know when things are going to get messy.

🏎️ “I Swerved for a Salamander”

For those unfamiliar with the annual event, let’s be clear: this is not an opportunity for real-life Frogger. Motorists are strongly advised to avoid the area and use Cranbury Road or Fresh Ponds Road instead. If you must drive nearby, slow down unless you want a salamander to become your co-pilot.

Some local drivers have already taken to social media with deeply scientific theories about the road closure:

📢 “This is just another scam to collect property taxes. Next, they’ll be putting up a toll booth for salamanders!” – Jeff Winston

📢 “I thought it was a joke until I saw three of them staring me down in my headlights. They don’t even move fast. They just… judge you.” – Karen L.

📢 “I swear one of them flipped me off.” – Steve B.

🚧 What You Can Do Instead of Almost Running Over a Salamander

Since you can’t use Beekman Road at night, here are some productive alternatives:

✔️ Take a leisurely drive down Cranbury Road and pretend you’re in an alternate universe where salamanders don’t control local infrastructure.
✔️ Watch ‘Planet Earth’ and appreciate amphibians from a safe distance.
✔️ Join a support group for drivers still emotionally recovering from last year’s migration.
✔️ Become a salamander traffic warden—wear a reflective vest, hold up a tiny stop sign, and really lean into the role.

🦎 Final Thoughts

Whether you love them, hate them, or almost ran over one last year, the salamanders are here to stay. East Brunswick is one of the few towns that actively protects this migration, and honestly, they’re probably doing a better job than some humans do at crossing the street.

So, buckle up, find a new route, and let the salamanders have their hot amphibian summer in peace.