Route 18 Closure Commuters Rejoice: A Week of Unexpected Adventures Awaits! EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ — In what experts are calling “a groundbreaking initiative in the war against smooth travel,” Route 18 will be closed and detoured for the foreseeable future, allowing residents to experience the thrill of navigating suburban backroads in bumper-to-bumper traffic. “This is...Read More

Eyes on EB Has Been a Little Too Serious Lately… So Let’s Have Some Fun! East Brunswick residents awoke this morning to a sky so suspiciously streaked with smoke that Facebook’s finest minds immediately took action. Was it jet fuel? A government experiment? Or perhaps the long-awaited return of the Chemtrail Cabal™, determined to keep...Read More

East Brunswick has been here before. In the early 1980s, the district faced budget constraints and declining enrollment, leading to the proposed closure of Irwin Elementary School and either Lawrence Brook Elementary School or Memorial Elementary School. The reasoning at the time was that there just weren’t enough students to justify keeping them open. Parents fought back, concerned about class sizes, redistricting, and...Read More

Recently, we put together a spreadsheet compiling information from the publicly available BOE meeting minutes to get a clearer picture of how much was spent on the Temporary Classroom Units (TCUs). These modular classrooms were meant to be a temporary solution in anticipation of the construction of a new high school, but the financial details surrounding them is...Read More

Every now and then, a figure emerges so effortlessly cool, so undeniably magnetic, that people can’t help but gravitate toward them. Enter Chadwick Breeze—the man, the myth, the lifestyle. He lived by a simple truth: “We aren’t here for a long time, just a good time.” And, oh, what a time it was. But like...Read More

December 17, 1981: The Coldest Birthday of Them All Winter birthdays are tough. You can’t have a pool party, nobody wants to go outside, and if there’s even a hint of snow in the forecast, half your friends suddenly develop “strict family traditions” that conveniently prevent them from attending. But none of that mattered to...Read More

A Congressional Campaign in Disguise? Brought to you by the fine folks who are apparently paying for it.   Ah, East Brunswick, the town where transparency is a foreign concept, and taxpayer dollars magically transform into campaign ads. Word on the street (or at least among those not on the mayor’s exclusive guest list) is...Read More

The Pathetic Literacy Program Survey A Survey Designed for Damage Control, Not Truth If you’ve had the misfortune of reading the district’s latest literacy program survey, you might have mistaken it for an honest attempt at gathering feedback. But let’s be clear: this was never about evaluating whether the curriculum is working. It’s a smokescreen...Read More

⚠️ Beekman Road Shut Down for the Annual Amphibian Migration 🦎⚠️ Residents of East Brunswick, brace yourselves—it’s that time of year again! The annual salamander migration is upon us, and like tiny, slimy jaywalkers, they are throwing themselves into traffic with reckless abandon. 🏁 The Great Salamander Sprint For reasons only known to the salamanders...Read More

The Taxpayer’s Palace: East Brunswick, welcome to the latest chapter in our ongoing saga of fiscal brilliance. Once upon a time, the Board of Education told us we needed emergency classroom units—the TCU trailers—so urgently that millions of taxpayer dollars had to be thrown at them. Then we realized we didn’t actually need them. Then...Read More