And Apparently It Costs $28,000 to Remove It
In what’s possibly the most humbling moment since the “how do you pronounce Tices Lane” debate, a shocking discovery has rocked the community:
Most East Brunswick residents don’t know what a backstop is.
We’re talking about grown adults, many with kids in sports, scrolling through town forums, squinting at their screens and whispering, “Wait… what is a backstop?”
To be clear: it’s the big fence behind home plate at a baseball field. That’s it. It stops balls. Like… a literal backstop. The name kind of explains it.
And yet—here we are.
$28,000 to Remove a Fence Nobody Recognized
The town is borrowing $11.5 million, and one juicy line item that got everyone talking was this:
👉 $28,000 to remove a backstop.
And here’s how the community responded:
“I didn’t even know what a backstop was. I had to Google it.” – JM
“Can I offer to remove this backstop (which I had no idea what it was) for 10K?” – EI
“Wtf is a backstop?” – OD
“I just learned something new.” – BB
“I thought it was like a TopGolf thing.” – Someone who is now emotionally recovering
Honestly, we should’ve budgeted another $5,000 for group therapy.
Imagine the Confusion
If someone told you the town was spending $28K to remove a backstop and you thought they were referring to:
-
A cyberbullying prevention program
-
A mental health app
-
Or a safety feature on your car…
You’re not alone.
We had people genuinely wondering if the backstop was a code name for a failing school principal or a piece of Cold War infrastructure buried under the turf field.
One person asked if it had something to do with golf. Another offered to rip it down with a $100 angle grinder and a 6-pack of Monster.
This Explains Everything
Now it makes sense why no one questioned the cost. You can’t object to removing something if you don’t know what it is. That’s Budgeting 101.
“Remove the flux capacitor? Sure, sounds important.”
“How much?”
“$28,000.”
“Yeah, okay.”
The town council could’ve called it a “strategic linear vertical safety enhancement barrier” and people would’ve clapped.
Good News: We’re All Smarter Now
So to those of you who admitted you didn’t know—respect. You’re honest, brave, and exactly the kind of people this town needs… to stop borrowing money for dumb stuff.
You may not have known what a backstop was, but now you do. And now you also know that East Brunswick is spending nearly thirty grand to remove one—while students lose arts, languages, and programs that actually matter.
Next Week’s Blog?
We’re considering a field trip. We’ll walk up to the backstop—before it’s dramatically removed by a professional backstop removal team—and give it a final salute. Maybe a candlelight vigil. Maybe just a group photo with our tax bills.
Either way, stay tuned.
And if you’re still unsure what a backstop is, don’t worry—we’ll be spending thousands more to make sure it’s never your problem again.
🧠 Only in East Brunswick.
