More Apartments? More Traffic? More Views? Yes, Please.
Here at Eyes on EB, we’ve been watching East Brunswick grow faster than a middle school rumor — and honestly, we love it.
Thousands and thousands (and thousands) of apartments are going up all over town — and while some people clutch their pearls and type angry Facebook posts from the parking lot of ShopRite, we here at Eyes on EB see nothing but opportunity.
Apartments? Oh, you mean future Eyes on EB fans.
Traffic? Oh, you mean future impressions.
Construction delays? Oh, you mean content creation opportunities.
Rob W is Built Different (and Apparently Built for Route 18 Traffic)
See, while the average resident is banging their steering wheel in traffic like it owes them money, Rob W sits peacefully in his car, staring at brake lights like they’re dollar signs.
“Sure, I’ve been sitting in traffic for the past three years,” Rob W says while missing yet another left turn near Tices Lane. “And I fully plan on sitting in this same traffic for the next three years. Why? Because every new apartment built is another poor soul who might stumble across Eyes on EB while Googling: ‘Why is East Brunswick traffic like this?’“
And that, friends, is called organic reach.
In Rob W’s Perfect World…
Listen, if Rob W had it his way, he’d be cutting a secret deal with one of these developers faster than you can say “luxury vinyl plank flooring.”
Imagine it:
“Hey Rob, $425,000 for this one-bedroom apartment.”
Rob W: “Or… hear me out… $1,200 if I post a reel about how nice your lobby smells?”
But alas, no such deal exists. So for now, Rob W is content with the next best thing: views.
Views from the new residents. Views from the angry locals. Views from the Facebook comments section where someone’s great aunt just discovered sarcasm for the first time.
Final Thoughts from the Eyes on EB War Room (aka Rob’s Car, Parked in Traffic)
So while others complain about “overdevelopment” or “no infrastructure” or “why does every new building look like a college dorm in Hoboken,” we at Eyes on EB say bring it on.
Build every apartment.
Fill every lane.
Extend every traffic light by an extra 47 seconds.
Because every one of you is either already an Eyes on EB fan…
…or you will be soon.
And that, my friends, is what we call a win-win.
