Now and then, a Facebook post stops you in your tracks.
This week, one did — a thread about a local restaurant that gave out free meals to families in need, only for someone to call and complain about the food they received.
The post went viral in East Brunswick circles, and most people reacted with disbelief. But instead of focusing on the outrage, I want to focus on the opposite — the good that’s happening quietly all around us.
Because the truth is, we’re lucky to live in a community filled with restaurants and small businesses that open their doors, share their food, and give from the heart. Dusals has been known to help families in need. Pasquale’s has a pay-it-forward wall. Every week, someone somewhere in town donates a meal, feeds a neighbor, or shows up for someone who’s struggling — without expecting a single thing in return.
And that’s the part worth remembering.
When You Give Without Expectations, You Never End Up Disappointed
As the holidays approach, many people feel the strain of doing for others — organizing drives, donating, volunteering, or lending a hand behind the scenes. And it’s easy to think, “I do all this, and I don’t even get a thank you.”
I’ve been there.
And I get it — when you see someone complain about a free meal or act ungrateful after you’ve tried to help, it can be frustrating. It makes you wonder why you even bother. But I once came across a video on Facebook where a woman said something that really stuck with me: when you truly reach the point where you can give without expecting anything in return, it’s liberating.
If you feel like you’re always getting burned, that’s usually because you’re giving with expectations. Once you let go of needing recognition or gratitude, the weight falls off your shoulders. And even when, once in a while, you get criticized for doing the right thing, you can let it go more easily. After all, you had zero expectations — and that freedom keeps you from becoming bitter. It won’t stop you from continuing to do good.
You start to realize that the peace comes not from what others say or do, but from knowing your heart was in the right place — and that’s enough.
A Tip from Rob W — Especially During the Holidays
Here’s what’s helped me:
If you ever feel underappreciated for what you give, stop and ask yourself why you gave in the first place. If it was to help, to heal, to show kindness — that’s the full circle right there. You’ve already done it.
Because giving with expectations turns generosity into a transaction, giving without them turns it into love.
So as we head into this holiday season, let’s celebrate the restaurants, the volunteers, the neighbors, and the quiet givers who keep showing up — not because they have to, but because it’s who they are.
And let’s all try to give a little more like that. No disappointment. No resentment. Just heart.
– Rob W, Eyes on EB
