Category

satire

Welcome to the Satire Section of Eyes On Eb, where wit meets wisdom in our unique take on the world’s happenings. Here, we explore a range of topics through a satirical lens, offering a humorous perspective designed to entertain and provoke thought. Our satirical posts use irony, exaggeration, and humor to critique societal norms, politics, and cultural phenomena. Dive into this section for a clever and playful exploration of current events, where laughter is used as a tool to reflect and critique.

22
Feb

East Brunswick Needs COC: Oversight Like Never Before!

February 22, 2025ByIn,
East Brunswick—It’s a fact universally acknowledged that when a community cares deeply about its education system, a simple Board of Education just won’t cut it. Enter the need for a Citizens’ Oversight Committee (COC)—and not just any COC, we’re talking a Big COC. Who’s Got the Biggest COC? The quest for COC isn’t just about...
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21
Feb

Eyes on EB Derangement Syndrome

February 21, 2025ByIn,
When Men Just Can’t Take a Joke Women Love Eyes on EB—Their Husbands, Not So Much There’s a new epidemic sweeping East Brunswick, and no, it’s not another tax increase—it’s Eyes on EB Derangement Syndrome (EOEB-DS). It primarily affects middle-aged men who take life way too seriously, spend too much time being outraged, and have...
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20
Feb

If You Hate Eyes on EB, You’re Probably Bad in Bed

February 20, 2025ByIn,
Let’s be honest—if our little local blog gets you all worked up, you might have bigger issues than the latest East Brunswick drama. After all, enjoying a good read requires an appreciation for wit, timing, and a little bit of passion—three things that, let’s face it, also apply to other important areas of life. The...
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20
Feb

Eyes On EB: Your Trusted #GossipRag

February 20, 2025ByIn,
Our Unofficial Yet Proud Title It’s official, unofficially official, or just plain old gossip-worthy news: Jasmine Fresco, East Brunswick’s very own queen of subtweets, has crowned Eyes On EB with the prestigious title of #GossipRag. And you know what? We absolutely agree with her! From Humble Beginnings to Gossip Gold What started as a quaint...
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20
Feb

How NOT to Bring Attention to Yourself

February 20, 2025ByIn,
Let’s keep this simple—if you don’t want attention, stop acting like an unpaid town crier, announcing every minor inconvenience like it’s breaking news. But some of you just can’t resist. You insert yourself into drama, get called out, and then act shocked when people pay attention. So, here’s a step-by-step guide to not being an...
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18
Feb

The Art of Outsmarting a Narcissist: A Masterclass by the East Brunswick BOE Leadership

February 18, 2025ByIn
Leadership That Understands the Game Give credit where credit is due—our current East Brunswick Board of Education leadership has cracked the code on dealing with a very specific breed of individual: the local narcissist. Not just any run-of-the-mill self-absorbed loudmouth, but the kind who thrives on manufactured outrage, grandstanding, and the undying belief that they...
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16
Feb

Real Housewives of East Brunswick 

February 16, 2025ByIn,
From Online Discussions to TV Drama East Brunswick’s bustling online community from “East Brunswick Helping Each Other” is gearing up to spill over into your living rooms with the upcoming “Real Housewives of East Brunswick.” This isn’t just your garden-variety reality show; it’s a high-stakes, high-drama showcase of the most spirited debates and camaraderie that...
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09
Feb

Rob W Demands Supreme Control Over East Brunswick’s BOE DOGE

February 9, 2025ByIn,
Because Someone Needs to Fix This Mess EAST BRUNSWICK— In a stunning display of leadership (or desperation, depending on who you ask), Rob W has officially demanded to be appointed as the Supreme Director with BIG BALLS overseeing the operation, Overlord, and Financial Savior of East Brunswick’s newly proposed BOE DOGE (Department of Oversight, Governance,...
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07
Feb

Who Needs Phonics When You Have Vibes?: How East Brunswick Schools Are Teaching Our Kids to Read

February 7, 2025ByIn,
By Eyes on EB Staff Once upon a time, in a land where budget cuts are just misunderstandings and transparency is an ancient relic, the East Brunswick Board of Education embarked on an exciting new mission: revolutionizing how our children learn to read! And by “revolutionize,” we mean completely ignoring the science of reading and...
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15
Jan

The Great Lanyard Escapade: Unraveling the Threads of Local Politics

January 15, 2025ByIn,
A Deep Dive into Our Current Leadership’s Financial Wizardry In East Brunswick, the magical land of budget shortfalls and fiscal deficits, our beloved leaders seem to have stumbled upon an innovative solution to their financial woes. Is it a comprehensive fiscal policy? A breakthrough in municipal financing? Not exactly. They’re making it up as they...
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