Category

satire

Welcome to the Satire Section of Eyes On Eb, where wit meets wisdom in our unique take on the world’s happenings. Here, we explore a range of topics through a satirical lens, offering a humorous perspective designed to entertain and provoke thought. Our satirical posts use irony, exaggeration, and humor to critique societal norms, politics, and cultural phenomena. Dive into this section for a clever and playful exploration of current events, where laughter is used as a tool to reflect and critique.

27
Oct

After a Rough Week, Rob W. Emerges as Chadwick Breeze: I’m Not Here for a Long Time; I’m Here for a Good Time

October 27, 2024ByIn,
There comes a time in every man’s life when he decides he’s had enough. For Rob W., that moment arrived last week. After enduring a series of brutal misunderstandings, public rants, and enough unsolicited opinions to fill a novel, he’s decided to take on a new identity. Meet Chadwick Breeze — a man who sees...
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24
Oct

The Ultimate Key to Winning Every Online Debate

October 24, 2024ByIn,
Block Them First, Then Call Them Out: A Genius Strategy! The secret to dominating online debates isn’t a sharp intellect or a library of well-researched facts. No, no. The real strategy? Make sure you block the person before calling them out publicly. That way, they can’t defend themselves, and you automatically win! This method is...
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21
Oct

The Great East Brunswick Bidet Hunt

October 21, 2024ByIn,
A Town’s Quest for Cleanliness EAST BRUNSWICK— In the heart of East Brunswick, where local news often involves school board elections and debates over speed bumps, the residents have now found themselves in the midst of a new mission—finding the perfect bidet. And let’s be clear, this isn’t just any casual search; it’s a full-blown...
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17
Oct

Why Rob W is Not Accepting Any More Friends for the Rest of 2024 (and Probably 2025)

October 17, 2024ByIn,
In a bold and unprecedented move, Rob W, East Brunswick’s most beloved content creator and man of mysterious allure, has officially declared that he will not be accepting any new friends for the remainder of 2024—and quite possibly for all of 2025. The reason? Objectivity. That’s right, folks, Rob W has decided that staying emotionally...
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14
Oct

The Virtue of Silence – Our Take On The Recent BOE Meeting

October 14, 2024ByIn,
A Lesson in School Board Transparency Wash and Repeat: The Board’s Favorite Dance Move So, once again, folks, we find ourselves being told by the powers that be: “Show up and speak your mind!”—only to be hit with the classic Wash, Repeat, Deflect maneuver when we actually take the time to show up, scramble for...
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12
Oct

Township Shaken by Halloween Decorations: Krystal’s House Brings East Brunswick to Its Knees

October 12, 2024ByIn,
In what is being described as the most terrifying event of the season, Krystal P. has managed to rattle the entire township of East Brunswick with nothing more than a few skeletons, a plastic pumpkin, and a questionable use of town property. It all began with a friendly knock on her door. A township official,...
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09
Oct

Attention All Candidates: The IRS Is Watching Your Every Move!

October 9, 2024ByIn,
Attention, candidates! Thinking about promoting yourself at religious facilities or other nonprofit events? Well, hold your campaign signs for just a second. The IRS has some rules you’ll want to know before you go glad-handing at a charity gala. The 501(c)(3) No-Go Zone: Keep Your Campaigning in Check Under federal law, nonprofits—including religious groups and...
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08
Oct

The Board President’s Latest Trick: Is VV Holding the Strings?

October 8, 2024ByIn,
What’s Really Going On Behind the Curtain? Well folks, just when we thought the show was over, the Board President steps back into the spotlight, determined to pull one last trick out of her hat. Despite the community’s loud and clear disapproval of Outsider VV’s reign, she seems hell-bent on getting this raise passed. You...
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06
Oct

Rob W’s Revelation: Why Run for Anything When It’s Easier to Complain?

October 6, 2024ByIn,
In a groundbreaking revelation that has left the residents of East Brunswick both amused and confused, local curmudgeon and professional critic Rob W has finally realized what we’ve all been too afraid to admit: why run for any position of authority when it’s far easier—and frankly more fun—to just complain? “People keep asking me, ‘Rob,...
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29
Sep

Is This Intersection a Joke? Absolutely Not

September 29, 2024ByIn,
The Perilous Crossroads: A Serious Concern In East Brunswick, a particular intersection has been stirring up more than just traffic. The community has voiced concerns so fervent and frequent that it’s clear this isn’t something to be taken lightly. Every stop sign, every flashing light at this junction seems to have a story—a testament to...
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